My best friend

I had a friend, whom I once thought I would never have any in my life.

Someone that came into my life in a twisted circumstances and had my heart swift away with his talented figure of speech and a quite peculiar attitude. His dominant attitude, his egoistic behavior, his humble genuine thoughts, of all the things we have shared and talked for hours without really bothering the headaches and sleepy eyes the next day for "hanging" on the phone the whole night through.

He was the many first reasons in my life. My first friend who would call and refuse me to call him instead and talk for hours; he was the first one whom I actually got into a verbal conflict even before meeting up and got so close after the first meeting even though I met and get to know his partner first; he was my first gay friend; he was my first friend that I promised myself to be there no matter how shitty he treats me; and he was my first true gay love.

He was the first who takes in charge of things in his life most of the time. Even though he makes the lousiest decisions in it. He doesn't gives a damn of what others say but he still asks for their opinion. He never really bothers on how the day went for others but would be so bright talking about his for hours. He never feels shy to shed his tears and show his weak points cause he's a genuine person. And he was never truly recognized the true friend that was there for him all the time but to treat him like a piece of turd!

When it comes to taking care of emotions and feelings, his and only his comes in the picture, or that's just the way it is being portrayed. Making shallow comparison with his situation and seeing how "fortunate" others are without even having the ability to analyse how bad it would/could be for someone else are his major successful failure gift. All he needed most of the time is for someone to be all ears for what he tells.

One of the moment that I would never forget being with him was the walk we took around the Bangsar Heights road. The small walk around the neighborhood, discussing on how silly we both became friends together and the moment when I fetched him up from his college and took him to Midvalley and had our last long chats in TGIF. Also the moment when we both sat at the playground, he was eating the dinner I bought for him. I will never forget the first time when he attempted to give me a hug, after knowing how much I live getting one...hahahahaha...XD

The dogs were barking and it was after our meet up from KLCC. We bought some items back home and one of it was his favorite cupcakes. All the plastic bags were at the back seat and it was mixed up. I sorted out the "mixed" up bags and he asked me to get down from my seat and sort it off well, saying he couldn't find one of his bag. I got off from my driver seat and went to the back seat door, where he was standing and scanned if his plastic bag item was still there, on the seat with my bags. I got my head out, shut the door, told him, "That's it. You're holding everything that belongs to you."

"Come here", he said while taking me into his arms and gave me a quick hug. Thanks to the neighbor dog which was barking out loud, making it more awkward and gawky for both of us. Though it was a quick one, I felt his chest, my head held by his left arm towards him...wishing for another moment of such again... :( The sweet part about him is he's not the hugging type of person and he made it clear to me once. As a reply, I just told him how great it is to get hugs from someone special and the aura is brings into my soul.

Remembering that fact, he gave me one and also telling, "If you want more, you better clean shave those thorny beard of yours." "Like I'm take your words seriously. Its my beard and my face, I don't orders my friend", I told him. But guess what happened?? Of course I took it seriously and shaved it clean so it wouldn't be sharp and poke his smooth, pale yellow-skinned face.

Till this very moment, I'm restoring all the sweet moments I shared with him for almost a year. I took him as my real close friend. I took him as my close brother. I took him as my adviser and listened to everything that he says. I respected him so much...I got hurt so much from him too. The heartache that I carried intensively for a month plus...still am, losing my sleep at this hour at 2.45am thinking about him ever since I had a dream about him yesterday evening. I don't know what the dream is trying to tell me...I have heard some say if we dream of someone, that person is thinking about us. Is it really true?? Is he thinking about me? Will he make any effort in contacting me again?? Tell me he's sorry and he wants to mend all his misdeeds??

I can only wish... but a dream that you wish, will come true...~

P.S. I love you, my friend~